PRETENSE

Sharpened pencils and new erasers
sit on the desk. I know what I will
write and how I will word my thoughts.

I look at the dorsum of my hands, the wrinkled
skin with fenestrated and sinuous veins
lying over the tendons, greyish blue–

No time to waste. My mind is made up
I have pages to fill, volumes to write. A
blessed childhood, neglected teenage

and an arranged marriage that was forced.
The pencil slips when it touches the paper
damn the arthritic knuckles, the loss of strength

Spirit wills, my age scoffs. I continue to pretend
I could write, and light my name in fire, to be
recognized. Except, it is burnt beyond recognition.Ā©

Zakiah Sayeed
December 2015.

 

 

About Zakiah

I write poetry and some fiction, have a book that was published in 2012. . . Stray Thoughts/Winged Words. I have four grandchildren, ages 16 and half to almost 16 months. I love the ocean, and grew up along the Indian Ocean in South India. I am a retired physician. Don't know much else to say. Thanks for reading. That has been my profile for so many years. My daughter Saadia a great poet and story teller, has two sons; the oldest grandson is now 21 years old, doing architectural engineering at Missouri S&T in Rolla MO. His younger brother is almost 16 and taking driving lessons seriously and is in High School. The other two grandsons, children of my son Sayeed, are 9 and 5. I have recently published another book titled Gulistan, A home of Flowers. It has stories and memories of my childhood and of a distant land which I still consider as my HOME., even though I have lived here in the US for more than fifty years. Hope to see you on my blog.
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20 Responses to PRETENSE

  1. Like for everyome the age lets its prins of us but you are in full bloom Zakiah ; writing , paintings , help to to those in sad situation./ Chase those worries , please.
    Love ā¤
    Michel

    • Zakiah says:

      Thank you Michel. As you can see, I had written this in 2015, and had not posted it. There is a note on this page in my book, that says ‘(not posted.)’ I must have stuffed it somewhere and forgotten. Found it a few weeks back, and decided to post it.
      Hope you and Janine are doing well. Best regards and love,
      Zakiah.

  2. You found an old treasure to share! Thank you for sharing it!

    • Zakiah says:

      So happy that you read it. And so happy that you stopped over. Thank you.

    • Zakiah says:

      Tell us more about you dear A. The last i knew was that you were giving interviews. Hope you are very satisfied with where you are in your life at this time. Love and hugs.

      • I got you a Mother’s Day card but never sent out my Mother’s Day cards! I hope you enjoyed your Mother’s Day! I’m still looking for a job. I turned some down, but with each step I get a clearer vision of where I am heading next, so it’s a process. I started writing some books and am really enjoying it and wanting to put more time into them before I find a job for fall (academic year starts in fall, which is why I turned down some of the more immediate openings). Love and hugs to you too, Z!

  3. This brought smiles and tears. A precious write, SweetZ!
    You can write…and your words are powerful, precious, important…and need to be read. So write as you are able. You definitely share your heart, and your life story, in your poems and your paintings! They are inspiring and helpful! šŸ™‚
    Everyone should word their thoughts. šŸ™‚ I think it’s people’s stories shared that change the world in positive ways.
    (((HUGS)))

    • Zakiah says:

      Thank you so much Carolyn. When i read this poem a few days back, my jaw dropped. I said to my self, “wow zakiah, that’s not a bad piece at all!” I hung on to it until last night, and finally got the gumption to post it. šŸ™‚

  4. A lovely poem. You are quite the talented one.

  5. slmret says:

    I love this, Zakiah! Despite what it says, you are writing even better than you were when you wrote this — and you’ve added the painting to it as well! Good work!

    • Zakiah says:

      I thank you so much for your words Janet. Today was an extremely busy day, starting off with court hearing at 8:30, then little Zain’s graduation from Preschool at 10:30, massage at noon, and an appointment with the oncologist at 4. I am sorry i haven’t responded to your mail. I shall do that either later tonight or tomorrow.

      • slmret says:

        My goodness — you are busy! I hope the court hearing and the oncology appointment were both positive. Wow — Zain graduating from preschool already! How time flies! Love & hugs

  6. Beautiful and well written as always. I thought you might have posted this one before but at my age, my memory plays tricks on me. I hope everything will go well with your oncologist appointment. Sending you lots of love. *hugs*

  7. murisopsis says:

    I think you have lit your name on fire, written it in the sky even! And if you think it burnt – I’m guessing you will take that charcoal and create a masterpiece!!

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