Gentle Drivers

Before you all start looking down at my post here, and start snickering, let me tell you a few things.
I am a very good driver. I have never had an accident, (thank God, and don’t plan in having one, Insha’Allah). The mister in my home has had some fender benders, well, maybe not some, but at least two or was it three. If you ask him about it, he will look at you like you are joking!
He is a cautious driver. NO DOUBT about that. In a 30 mile zone, he will go as fast as twenty miles, and say “I hope there is no chaacha sitting around the bend with his radar on”! I never bother to criticize him, because it is no use. If I tell him, “Ok, let’s put foot to the pedal mister, we needed to be at that place about ten minutes ago!” He looks at me and says, “Don’t hurry me. I want to arrive there in one piece!”
And this is a small town!
When he is sitting in my car and I am at the wheel, I am very careful not to ruffle his feathers. While getting out of the garage, and before I hit the drive way, I see him turning right and left and right and left again! I tell him that I am still in the garage and he doesn’t have to be so stressed so soon. He pretends his neck was bothering him and that’s why he was looking around. Then I pull into the drive way, and I hear, “daek ko, daek ko!” I look at him and ask, “Look where?” he says, “No, I just wanted you to be careful as you pull out on to the road.”
We live in a secluded area where the only traffic is from our own car or my daughter’s car from six houses down or an occasional neighbor. I smile at him and keep staring at him with my eyebrow cocked up? He has a flat line to his lips!
We get on the road, and his right hand immediately grabs the ‘oh s**t handle’ above his door. I ask him, what was happening? He tells me oh nothing, I just want you to drive carefully—and I haven’t even reached the end of our street to join the main road yet.
Ohhhhh! What can I say?
Once on the road, if I go 32 to 35 miles in a 30 mile zone, mister starts whining, ‘ummmm, Zakiah, you drive too fast.’ I tell him not to look at the road or the speedometer, (which he does often) and to look out the window. And if there is a car about half a block ahead of us, he starts pumping his foot on the floor, as if he is applying the break, or he thinks I am blind and cannot see ahead of me, or am driving with a blindfold on. You should see the floor of my car on the passenger side! Again I look at him and when he looks at me, I look at his foot. He then yells, “God, Zakiah, pay attention. Don’t take your eyes off the road!”
Fifty plus years! Fifty frikkin plus years of this passenger side shenanigans! What do you do?
So now, we go to the same place in two different cars (often). I hear my ghazals in my car, he listens to fast Bollywood music in his car.
Do you all have backseat or passenger seat drivers in your cars?
Please don’t tell me women drivers are not good! Majority of them are better drivers than their spouses, me thinks.

About Zakiah

I write poetry and some fiction, have a book that was published in 2012. . . Stray Thoughts/Winged Words. I have four grandchildren, ages 16 and half to almost 16 months. I love the ocean, and grew up along the Indian Ocean in South India. I am a retired physician. Don't know much else to say. Thanks for reading. That has been my profile for so many years. My daughter Saadia a great poet and story teller, has two sons; the oldest grandson is now 21 years old, doing architectural engineering at Missouri S&T in Rolla MO. His younger brother is almost 16 and taking driving lessons seriously and is in High School. The other two grandsons, children of my son Sayeed, are 9 and 5. I have recently published another book titled Gulistan, A home of Flowers. It has stories and memories of my childhood and of a distant land which I still consider as my HOME., even though I have lived here in the US for more than fifty years. Hope to see you on my blog.
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22 Responses to Gentle Drivers

  1. murisopsis says:

    I had to laugh! I can just see M grabbing the bar… Sparky won’t let me drive except in dire circumstances since he gets car sick unless he is behind the wheel. I suppose that is OK considering the alternative!!

    • Zakiah says:

      Val it is so good to see you after a long while. I have gone to the Reader to look for your current posts and couldn’t find you. I was hoping that all was well with you.
      Thank you for this comment on Gentle Drivers. M is incorrigible when it comes to riding with me. I am glad everyone saw the humor in the post.

  2. slmret says:

    I am truly laughing out loud after reading this, Zakiah! I can relate to having never had an accident in over 60 years of driving in California (unless you count the time my car was hit while parked properly in a street parking space ~ ~ ~ Fortunately, though, I don’t have a “back seat driver” to critique my every move. It sounds as if 2 cars is a great solution for now! Love & hugs

    • Zakiah says:

      In the late nineties, I had a beautiful brand new Lexus, about three of four months after I had purchased it from St. Louis Dealer. I had parked it in the drive-way for a short while and ran inside the house to get something. M was in the garage and we talked for a minute; he was going to the country club to play 18 holes of golf. Just as I was entering the kitchen I thought ” let me see if he backs up properly”. He was so tuned to look right and left in the garage and on the drive way, he totally missed the maroon Lexus sitting on my side of the driveway, and plowed right into it. I just stood there with my mouth open. And do you know what he said, ” It’s your mistake. Why did you have to park in the driveway?”
      Laughable! When it comes to golf, the guy might just as well not know that anything or anyone exists around him! I made him pay for all the damage. When I got my MB, I refused to let him even touch it for the longest time.
      Thanks Janet, for your sweet comment. Loved reading it. Hope you are in town. You will probably get an envelope on Wednesday or Thursday. Please confirm when you get it. Love.

      • slmret says:

        I can imagine your shocked thoughts as you watched M back into your new car! That happened to me when I got the new car to replace mine that was totaled — I was looking for a parking space in a lot — didn’t see between two big SUV’s that there was a car about to back out — he hit my brand new car and dented the front door! Fortunately the guy was insured, and his insurance paid for the repairs, but I think it hurt my feelings as much as it hurt the car.

  3. beowulf222 says:

    I shouldn’t laugh for snicker but this was funny. Yes, you guys have been married for a long time and each has their own little quirks I guess.
    I think driving in separate cars might not be most environmentally friendly solution but it works best for your relationship!

    • Zakiah says:

      Too long Nick! Have been married too frikkin long! That what I keep telling him and he just shrugs his shoulders and smirks! Please read my response to Janet above.
      It’s okay if you laugh. Every one laughs, even I do and of course the children do. Now the grandchildren ha ha him out quite a bit.

  4. hahahahaha…. oh Zakiah, my belly is hurting from laughing so much. I want my brother to drive M. My brother drives fast and will give M’s heart a good workout.

    • Zakiah says:

      That funny eh?? Well what can I say? May be he should go for a drive with your brother. Would love to see his face then. Ha ha. that would be a riot I am sure.

  5. whyzat says:

    Ha!!! I can identify with you! My husband won’t ride with me except for when he comes home from a medical test and is sedated!! I’ve never had an accident, either, but I don’t drive much. I dislike doing it.
    I love your expression, “the on s**t bar!” So apt!

    • Zakiah says:

      You know Dian, M was like that too. He always thought he HAD to drive. Even when I bought a new car, he would want to test drive it, and drive it home after the purchase. In the mid nineties, I said, “okay guy, enough is enough! My car, and I shall drive,. Your car, you may drive!” when we go to the mosque sometimes in the same car, you should hear the running commentary. Watch out, there is a car at the 4-way stop, or, watch for those people walking on the side walk.” I tell you, he is obsessed with accidents and the fear of them happening. I just tune him off.

  6. mrswrangler says:

    Wrangler drives every where. I dont have to listen to his gripping that way. Even if it’s a block to the horses Wrangler drives. BIL is afraid to drive with Wrangler. Wrangler is very sick for me to drive. I know how to drive the semi even if I am not licensed. I think I should be able to at least pull it off the road or drive to the hospital in an emergency. You never know when that is a skill you may need.

  7. HA! You made me snort-laugh! (YAY!) 😀 Keep being you, SweetZ! And he shouldn’t be used to it all by now!? 😉 Well, keep him on his toes, because apparently he doesn’t know how lucky he has it!! 😉 🙂 😀

    Well, I am like you…even with my driving…but lately I’ve decided to just go 5 mph over the speed limit. That’s my big driving-change! 🙂 Oh, and I’ve never had a speeding ticket…even tho’ I deserved some! (I won’t tell those stories now. My comment will already be too long!)

    When my kids were just preschoolers, my youngest was the back-seat driver…She’d say, “Mom, there’s a stop sign coming up soon” “Mom, the speed limit says 45 and you are going 50” and on and on! HA! 😀 When they turned 15, I was the one who taught them to drive and they are all great drivers!

    HUGS!!! 🙂
    PS…I’m still laughing! 😀

  8. This made me laugh. 😉
    Actually, Stephen rarely says anything about my driving though I’m a ‘heavy foot’ driver. However, he has to listen to me ‘back seat driving’. Most of the time, he handles it pretty well. 😉
    Sounds like you found a great solution. Love and hugs.

  9. r_hsw says:

    lol. well, ain’t that a stress. yeah, i have one. my dad. he disapproves how other people drive. that it should be this way or that way or etc. so when he’s in the car and not driving, you’ll be sure to hear words of disapproval from him.

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