Language of Medical students.

In the era of medical schools for mass production of doctors, nobody tests for English proficiency when getting into medicine and command of English is sometimes hilarious… enjoy what these medical students actually wrote…….

ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS’ HOSPITAL CHARTS:

1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. !!

4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8) The patient refused autopsy.

9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11) Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.

12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14) She is numb from her toes down. !!!!!!!!!!

15) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

16) The skin was moist and dry.

17) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18) Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy

20) Skin: somewhat pale but present

21) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree

22) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities….!!!

About Zakiah

I write poetry and some fiction, have a book that was published in 2012. . . Stray Thoughts/Winged Words. I have four grandchildren, ages 16 and half to almost 16 months. I love the ocean, and grew up along the Indian Ocean in South India. I am a retired physician. Don't know much else to say. Thanks for reading. That has been my profile for so many years. My daughter Saadia a great poet and story teller, has two sons; the oldest grandson is now 21 years old, doing architectural engineering at Missouri S&T in Rolla MO. His younger brother is almost 16 and taking driving lessons seriously and is in High School. The other two grandsons, children of my son Sayeed, are 9 and 5. I have recently published another book titled Gulistan, A home of Flowers. It has stories and memories of my childhood and of a distant land which I still consider as my HOME., even though I have lived here in the US for more than fifty years. Hope to see you on my blog.
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33 Responses to Language of Medical students.

  1. hahahaha…. #8 and #9 are probably the top ones on my list.

  2. slmret says:

    I would only hope that their comprehension of medical language is better than this would imply!

    • Zakiah says:

      I think these were some guffaws by medical students and interns in other countries where computerization of the records was not mandatory at that time. When students and interns, (read peons who are exploited by senior residents) are in a hurry to finish the charting, there are so many simple and stupid mistakes that can happen.

  3. This is breathtaking ,Zakiah . We can have a good laugh at reading those sentences but is not this worrying?
    Love ❤
    Michel

  4. whyzat says:

    Yeah, I would refuse an autopsy, too. I’m sure they are expensive, not to mention invasive! Haha.
    I am having surgery on my shoulder tomorrow, but I know that my doctor is pretty good at what he does.

  5. Tree says:

    Hilarious! 😀

  6. jstnotherday says:

    I am laughing out loud!!!
    Some of those need interpretation for me.

    I love the ‘discharged alive, but without permission’ 😛

    Oh my goodness, thank you for the laughs!

  7. Lol I love innocent these mistakes sound

  8. #6 has entered my thoughts more frequently than I care to admit.

  9. theinfiniterally says:

    BAHAHA! Oh man, these are hilarious!

  10. ruth7933 says:

    Oh no even though I am sitting here laughing, I hope none of them come to work in my area of the country.

  11. OHMYGOSH! Scary! Wild! Cwazy! Yikes! And those same people drive and breed… :0 😛
    HUGS!!! 😀
    PS…I love #13!!! 😛

  12. How are you doing?
    I’ve been AWOL again, but am back and will blog this week.
    Hope you are doing well!
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  13. I hope you do not stop the blogging,Zakiah .
    Love ❤
    Michel

    • Zakiah says:

      Dear Michel, Thank you for your comment here. I have been so busy, traveling back and forth to California, Chicago and St. Louis. My brother was here from Dubai, so my sister and I wanted to have a sibling re-union in Chicago and spent a week with him there. Time flies and I see that I haven’t blogged for almost a month. Shall try to redeem myself.
      Love,
      Zakiah.

  14. r_hsw says:

    lol. so this is how they talk at hospitals?

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