In the era of medical schools for mass production of doctors, nobody tests for English proficiency when getting into medicine and command of English is sometimes hilarious… enjoy what these medical students actually wrote…….
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS’ HOSPITAL CHARTS:
1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.
…
2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. !!
4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8) The patient refused autopsy.
9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11) Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14) She is numb from her toes down. !!!!!!!!!!
15) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
16) The skin was moist and dry.
17) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
18) Patient was alert and unresponsive.
19) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy
20) Skin: somewhat pale but present
21) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree
22) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities….!!!
hahahaha…. #8 and #9 are probably the top ones on my list.
I thought #13 was hilarious.
I’m sure there’s also the flip side on what funny things doctors have heard from their patients.
I would only hope that their comprehension of medical language is better than this would imply!
I think these were some guffaws by medical students and interns in other countries where computerization of the records was not mandatory at that time. When students and interns, (read peons who are exploited by senior residents) are in a hurry to finish the charting, there are so many simple and stupid mistakes that can happen.
This is breathtaking ,Zakiah . We can have a good laugh at reading those sentences but is not this worrying?
Love ❤
Michel
Sure it is a cause for worry, but fortunately the senior residents and registrars cover their behinds!!
Yeah, I would refuse an autopsy, too. I’m sure they are expensive, not to mention invasive! Haha.
I am having surgery on my shoulder tomorrow, but I know that my doctor is pretty good at what he does.
Funny comment Dian. Hope your surgery has gone very well. Rotator cuff? Lot of patience during recuperation. All the best.
Hilarious! 😀
I know , right?
I am laughing out loud!!!
Some of those need interpretation for me.
I love the ‘discharged alive, but without permission’ 😛
Oh my goodness, thank you for the laughs!
Yes, they are so funny. A lot of times patients leave against medical advise, and that’s what the above means.
Lol I love innocent these mistakes sound
The absolutely ARE innocent.
LOL
❤
#6 has entered my thoughts more frequently than I care to admit.
ha ha!
BAHAHA! Oh man, these are hilarious!
I know Mark! I sat here and laughed enough to cry! I cannot remember who sent it to me, but I had tears running down my cheeks.
I’m going to read them all again now for a midday pick-me-up!
Oh no even though I am sitting here laughing, I hope none of them come to work in my area of the country.
They are all innocent typos or people who don’t have the grasp of the language.
OHMYGOSH! Scary! Wild! Cwazy! Yikes! And those same people drive and breed… :0 😛
HUGS!!! 😀
PS…I love #13!!! 😛
I liked #5 and 13. A LOT!
Thanks for the comment. These are all innocent mistakes of grammar and the language, I am sure.
How are you doing?
I’ve been AWOL again, but am back and will blog this week.
Hope you are doing well!
HUGS!!! 🙂
I am fine Carolyn. Just busy running between here and St. Louis, and just a host of other busy projects. I don’t know how my day goes, or where it goes.
Looking forward to reading your blog.
Yes, the days do fly by! As do the months! 😮
I hope you do not stop the blogging,Zakiah .
Love ❤
Michel
Dear Michel, Thank you for your comment here. I have been so busy, traveling back and forth to California, Chicago and St. Louis. My brother was here from Dubai, so my sister and I wanted to have a sibling re-union in Chicago and spent a week with him there. Time flies and I see that I haven’t blogged for almost a month. Shall try to redeem myself.
Love,
Zakiah.
lol. so this is how they talk at hospitals?