Language of Medical students.

In the era of medical schools for mass production of doctors, nobody tests for English proficiency when getting into medicine and command of English is sometimes hilarious… enjoy what these medical students actually wrote…….

ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS’ HOSPITAL CHARTS:

1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

…

2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. !!

4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8) The patient refused autopsy.

9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11) Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.

12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14) She is numb from her toes down. !!!!!!!!!!

15) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

16) The skin was moist and dry.

17) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18) Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy

20) Skin: somewhat pale but present

21) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree

22) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities….!!!