April 9th NPM.
Being a sandwich kid was not easy. Nothing came easy. There were times when I was ridiculed because of my height. Indian girls were not very tall and here I was growing up like a freak, tall and extremely thin. I became painfully shy. Siblings and mother would always criticize my looks, telling me how I was so different in looks, meaning of course that I was ugly, and while my sisters would get married into good homes, I would probably spend my life as a spinster! And this continued until I went into medical school.
For the first time people started complimenting me about my height, and my looks. And gradually the inferiority complex that I had for almost two decades, started to wash off. I told myself that I could do whatever I wanted, and be good at it. The quote that kept hovering in the periphery of my mind was “True magnanimity consists not in ever falling, but getting up every time you fall!”
Beautiful calm childhood,
turbulent teenage years
words that clawed into soul,
searing and tearing it into shame;
my heart, wanting love, loving each
and every one, got shunned
at every corner;
My spirit refused to cower,
I persevered, held my head high and ignored
the anger and the attitude and the grief;
Away from home, I was recognized by different people
with different colors, and different languages.
I learned to stand up, laugh, love, and showed
respect, to all who had hurt, and who
pretended to forget they had hurt me.
The best thing I did, was to leave home–
I helped myself–
I didn’t want to just exist–
I showed my world,
that I could live and laugh and love!
ZSA_MD April 9th. 2016