I am always asked about my posts and articles that I write. People ask me why I live in the past so much. Why I talk about my youth and childhood, and why I always bring the Indian part of my life on to these pages.

How can I not live in the past? It is here, in my heart, always. It beats in my chest and runs in my blood. So what that I left my beautiful land and moved onto another lap of the same earth? So what if there are thousands of miles between this and that? So what that this land is called the Land of Opportunity, and wealth and opulence?

The land I came from, did not view color as the make or break of the human existence. The land I belonged to, had peace in the hearts of the people it cradled. It taught respect and genuine humility. It taught love. And love came naturally. When you look into the eyes of the people in India, you saw compassion, you saw longing to understand a different culture, you saw hospitality and you saw a mother’s and a father’s love. Men and women who ran for various Government posts, recognized their limits; I am sure there was corruption to a certain extent. But no one insulted another human being for his disability, or color or race or religion.

Today I sit here and watch the treasonous speeches by so called moguls of the nation, and I cringe. And I wonder, why did I come here? How could this land be the land of love and compassion and understanding, which I grew up with? I cannot even begin to compare the two lands. I want to go back to my land of the beautiful green paddy fields, and large shady trees, where travelers sat and rested and shared each other’s food.

Do you know now why I live in the past and write about the other land so much and so often? Come live within the four chambers of this old heart and feel what it feels, and then you will know the reasons for all the why’s of this land!

Zakiah Sayeed Ali.

March 16th 2016.

About Zakiah

I write poetry and some fiction, have a book that was published in 2012. . . Stray Thoughts/Winged Words. I have four grandchildren, ages 16 and half to almost 16 months. I love the ocean, and grew up along the Indian Ocean in South India. I am a retired physician. Don't know much else to say. Thanks for reading. That has been my profile for so many years. My daughter Saadia a great poet and story teller, has two sons; the oldest grandson is now 21 years old, doing architectural engineering at Missouri S&T in Rolla MO. His younger brother is almost 16 and taking driving lessons seriously and is in High School. The other two grandsons, children of my son Sayeed, are 9 and 5. I have recently published another book titled Gulistan, A home of Flowers. It has stories and memories of my childhood and of a distant land which I still consider as my HOME., even though I have lived here in the US for more than fifty years. Hope to see you on my blog.
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25 Responses to WHY?

  1. slmret says:

    Oh, Zakiah — your past is so beautiful. The current political environment has many of us in absolute shock — what IS going on that we have turned what used to be love of land, love of country into such hatred, such vitriol? I have said recently that I may consider moving out of the country after November — then I read that our governor commented that if Trump becomes President, he may have to build a wall around California 🙂 lol ! I love reading your writings about your country, your past, your childhood, and so forth — don’t stop writing them — don’t stop being you!

    • Zakiah says:

      Janet, my thoughts come through like water through a sieve. Nothing held back. Watching television used to be a fun thing for me, an hour or so of sheer enjoyment and laughter. Now, it seems like someone is just holding my heart in his clasp and squeezing it. I don’t seem to be able to breathe when I watch the nonsense that is out there.
      Remember Jimmy Hoffa? How he just disappeared so many decades ago? Would that this man could disappear just like that. You know what I mean! I am so bad!
      Thank you for your compliments about my writing and my words. I will continue to do that. The support I am getting from here, Xanga and the facebook, is so gratifying.
      Just have to get over the toxic atmosphere and keep praying for the healing of this nation.

      • slmret says:

        A friend and I were just comparing this election to the Reagan era, and I suddenly heard the Goldwater line about “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice” and how shocked we all were at that time. I’m afraid that we’ll have to live with the toxicity for a while as we pray for the healing of the nation. I just hope that the election will truly effect some changes — it will have to be at all levels, though, to be effective!

  2. jstnotherday says:

    Greetings Zakiah, I guess it makes people want to know why you left that land for this. People would prefer to hear you sing the praises of the land you chose to inhabit, and the one where you have made your life?
    Maybe we like to remember things better than they were, because for sure there were reasons why we left?
    Saying all that, I do understand you love… for both places I hope.
    It’s as I tried to tell my son when he went to another country…. you make your life in two places and thus will always have divided your heart. Whatever place you are in, you heart will always miss the other.

    • Zakiah says:

      God knows I Have sung the praises of the country that I live in now. A country is made by people. When the people desecrate the beautiful land with their malignant rhetoric, then the songs die an untimely death, in my opinion.

  3. pacificnorthwestgranny says:

    I am so grateful you share the joy and love of your past with us, and teach us about your culture and traditions.
    This is Ruth and I have finally gotten another blog going here on WP and you are one of the first I looked for.
    I have enjoyed reading you and learning from you for years now, here but mainly on Xanga.
    I loved the joy of watching each one of your young princess grow, (your grandsons) and all that you shared with us and hope you do not ever stop sharing.
    The politicians and some of the people who support them today are a disgrace. This is not a political arena. It is a large playpen bull of bullies and I am ashamed of them.
    Hugs and much respect your way.

    • Zakiah says:

      Ruthie, people like you instil the courage and beauty in a land even though it cries tears. Thank you for all that you have said about me and my family, my grandchildren especially. You put the trust back into an aging heart and body. Thank you for being so special. I love you, lots!

  4. I love reading your posts. I love hearing about your land (India) and your life. Keep writing about what is dear to you.
    Yes. Here we have gone far astray. It’s disheartening to out it mildly.Love and hugs

    • Zakiah says:

      Thank you Elizabeth. I will continue to write. The heart is heavy , there is nothing good around for me to listen to on the news channels and feel the uplifting of my heart. However, I shall keep on ploughing.

  5. Most days I’m ashamed of my country. I don’t remember it ever being particularly awesome, but I do remember when it at least sucked less.

  6. When I see the politicians debate (I think they mostly sow fear and shout hatred), I get fearful of the consequences. It takes generations of hard work and sacrifice to undo hatred. Keep writing about your childhood memories. They are rich and inspiring. Write where your heart is.

    There was a moment in my writing class where a classmate was trying to explain to the instructor her dilemma. She was trying to write about her experiences in Iran. Our homework had word limits. She asked the instructor how to handle explaining the meaning of certain words. She wanted to write about the young men, which included her relatives, wearing their Kafan as they prepared to join a large protest against the government. She explained to the class what a Kafan was (only 1 other person knew) and I was stunned. I think we all have stories that need to be told.

    So please keep writing about your past, your family, the flowers, your cooking and even the old appliances like that fridge you had.

    • Zakiah says:

      That’s it Carolyn! That’s what scares me— the hate and the fear that these so called men are sowing into the land of the free.
      That was a powerful story about the Iranian students. Wearing the death shroud and walking the streets to protest…. how heartbreaking that had to be.
      Thank you for your trust in me. I will try to continue writing. Some days are worse than others.

    • Zakiah says:

      I am sorry Matt, I wanted to say Matt in my reponse to your comment below, and didn’t realize I had unwittingly written Carolyn instead. My apologies to you. I wish I could have edited the reply. But there is no way,(or, I don’t know how to) to edit that mistake. Love and hugs Mattie.

  7. mrswrangler says:

    The past have good times. Struggles we overcame and survived yet learned from. With out looking back on the past we would possibly make mistakes over and over again.

  8. I think we all reach an age when we all look back. We love recalling the good memories and telling our stories to our kids, grandkids, and friends. 🙂 We see how the world is not changing enough for the better…and is, also, changing in not-s0-good ways…and so we look back longing for the time in life when things were good. 🙂

    If you don’t tell YOUR stories, Sweet Zakiah, who will? So, please keep telling them! Especially to your grand-princes! They need to hear them, they need to hear your heart…it will make a positive difference in their lives and they will make a positive difference in the world! 🙂

    My kids have all had the honor to travel to other countries…Mexico, Europe, Eastern Europe, Africa, etc., on humanitarian trips…helping people…making life better in those areas. They raised all of their own expenses to go on those trips and their experiences have been life changing. 🙂 To see how people in other countries live…to see the joy and kindness in places where spoiled Americans would not be willing to go.


  9. I like your posts and reading about India. Keep telling your stories. Write your memories and what’s in your heart.

  10. CLynn says:

    Greetings Zakiah,
    I am sorry if my reply caused hurt to your heart. I did not realize how your heart was hurting.

    “Janet, my thoughts come through like water through a sieve. Nothing held back. Watching television used to be a fun thing for me, an hour or so of sheer enjoyment and laughter. Now, it seems like someone is just holding my heart in his clasp and squeezing it. I don’t seem to be able to breathe when I watch the nonsense that is out there.”

    I feel this very same thing which you have written to Janet.
    Peace and blessings to you,

  11. This entry, Zakiah, is a cry of love of your homeland. And indeed who can deny and ignore his own roots? ? This week we went, Janine and I , to my birthplace to visit the cemeteries of the family in different villages to 140 km far from Amiens . When I go there all becomes again alive in my mind , people , streets , meadows . This is rather bittersweet because there are so much change for 60 years . The cemeteries themselves are located in places where are a lot of memories are waiting for me .
    Be sure , zaliah, I understand you
    Love ❤

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