Retired Health Message

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As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me.

  Some Senior Thoughts:
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing,

and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into

prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together,

and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being

absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older

than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the dog;

some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here;

I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes,

he’d have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the cards,

why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . .

they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut

and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter

19. Funny, I don’t remember

being absent-minded.

Thank you for reading this.

ZSA_MD@xanga. (alabeti).

About Zakiah

I write poetry and some fiction, have a book that was published in 2012. . . Stray Thoughts/Winged Words. I have four grandchildren, ages 16 and half to almost 16 months. I love the ocean, and grew up along the Indian Ocean in South India. I am a retired physician. Don't know much else to say. Thanks for reading. That has been my profile for so many years. My daughter Saadia a great poet and story teller, has two sons; the oldest grandson is now 21 years old, doing architectural engineering at Missouri S&T in Rolla MO. His younger brother is almost 16 and taking driving lessons seriously and is in High School. The other two grandsons, children of my son Sayeed, are 9 and 5. I have recently published another book titled Gulistan, A home of Flowers. It has stories and memories of my childhood and of a distant land which I still consider as my HOME., even though I have lived here in the US for more than fifty years. Hope to see you on my blog.
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16 Responses to Retired Health Message

  1. sunsetdragon says:

    Sitting here chuckling. :mrgreen:
    TY for the chuckle.

  2. Humor_Me_Now says:

    I loved this Dr.Zakiah. So funny with buried truth.

  3. HA! 😀 These made me snort-laugh! 😀 Especially # 11! 😛 And the absentmindedness! 😉
    HUGS!!! 😀

  4. mrswrangler says:

    This made me laugh on a cold morning. Love the backseat parts.

  5. kaylar says:

    i am lucky enough to have a mate that says: Do you believe in the hereafter? then you’ll know what i’m here after. 😉

  6. rudyhou says:

    LOL. oh gosh, you almost had me in tears. LOL.

  7. OMG – hahaha. I should send this to my doctor.

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